Important things your wife needs from you.
What is the primary thing a women needs from her husband? What are the primary emotions?
That is the continual love and the continual enveloping of that attention that the husband always makes his wife his priority, the husband always show his wife that I’m thinking about you I’m caring about you i.e. I will always love you.
To feel that love, to feel that cherished they need to be constantly reassured that their husband loves them, that their husband always takes them as first priority, always.
If women could get away with it, they want to be put on the pedestal and the husband just looks at them all day and all night and that would be great for them. Right? They want to be number one in their husband’s lives. So they want constant reassurance that the husband always loves them.
Wives do not take your love for granted, you take your wives’ love for granted you don’t need your wife to constantly reassure you that, she loves me, No you take it for granted the fact that she’s still living with you shows she loves you well it doesn’t work the other way around.
A woman is always double guessing, does he still love me? Does he still think about me? Does he still care about me? Does he still put me number one and therefore a woman has to have constant reassurance.
And not only this, but another issue is that men need to be sensitive to understand, women are very conscious of their looks and they’re comparing their looks with other women all the time. We guys don’t do that, we don’t care about looks of other men and we don’t compare ourselves. But women always use to think, am I still beautiful enough for him, does he still think me attractive, maybe I’ve gained a few pounds, maybe after the third kid, this and that …she’s always double guessing her looks her figure. And so the husband always has to make her feel the most beautiful, the most cherished, the most loved, the most admired, she always wants these reassurances.
How does he do this? I’ll just point out a number of them.
Words Never underestimate the power of the speech, saying simple I LOVE YOU
I know it’s awkward for men after the courting phase, but believe me, it never goes out of fashion. They always love to hear this phrase. In fact, there are weak Hadith of our prophet and Aisha were joking once and Aisha said to the Prophet (Nabi). How much do you love me? How is your love for me?
And our prophet gave a beautiful Metaphorical, poetic expression. He said, my love for you is like the tight knot that cannot be unbound. So then in the future, sometimes if they would have a bit of an issue, a bit of an argument one of the two would remark, how is the knot right now?
How is the knot right now and Aisha would say this when the prophet sometimes got irritated, how is the knot? So our prophet would smile, and say as strong as it ever was. And this Hadith is in dar ul qutni.
Now the point being that the words, I love you, are sometimes very important but not just I love you praising her and what she does.
Husband never take his wives actions for granted. Suppose she is cleaning and cooking most of the time, never take it for granted. Always once in a while come and compliment her, MASHA ALLAH that was great you know, I really appreciate what you’re doing for me. Those words, they go a long way. Your wife will realise that you’re not taking her for granted.
Praise her looks when she dresses up when she does something extra special for you. As you all know the big danger of forgetting anniversaries, Right? You all know how dangerous that is. why do women want you to know their anniversaries? Because it makes them feel you still love them, makes them feel, he still remembers me, he still cherishes me. What better way of showing that love? There’s nothing wrong at all to show that love.
Another thing that women want is TIME.
There is now a difference in language. For husband, time means, the watch on your hand. So when the wife says, you never spend time with me immediately he goes into calculation mode I sleep 8 hours a day, I have breakfast 1 hour, I came home that’s 10 hours with you how can you say I never have time for you? Right?
Because he’s thinking of time in the dictionary definition of time. That’s the clock.
But No! No! No! Women have a different dictionary, women have a different vocabulary, for them, time means attention, undivided quality attention.
So, you’re working 5 days of the week, you have that Saturday night free and you want to go and want to watch a television match, you want to watch a cricket game or want to play some basketball or this and that.
This is your quality times and you have shown your wife when you have quality time, you don’t want to spend it with her. To understand when she’s asking for the time, she wants some quality time. And this also when she comes to you for help or for some advice. She wants some issue to solve.
One of the biggest problems that men have is they think as if the women are coming to him to solve her problem, so immediately he’ll say, oh, you did this wrong, you did that wrong, you should do this, you should do that and that is not what the women want. The women want a loving ear, a sympathetic ear. She wants somebody to listen to her problems, to be sympathetic to her, not necessarily to solve her problem.
This is quality time. To express that whatever she went through was frustrating and they will work it out.
You have to give women what they want in return she will give what you want.
So give your wife the love she needs make her feel special, in return she’ll make you feel special. Together the both of you make each other feel special about each other. That’s exactly what marriage is all about.